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That said, the notion of sharing a common disease seemed very freeing in a way, too.I was getting tired of making the MS speech to every man that thought he was interested in me, having to explain the disease and how it affects me, then waiting to be judged worthy dating material.I have been making the acquaintance of able-bodied men, and the challenges I’ve faced are pretty much the same as those I experienced as a single able-bodied woman prior to developing MS at age 41.It’s hard enough trying to find the right chemistry, someone who possesses the qualities I need and desire and whose life path runs parallel to my own. Add a set of disabilities to that challenge and the equation seems to balloon to a level of complexity that would leave Einstein scratching his head in utter confusion.My first fear when the doctor said “Multiple Sclerosis” was that my dreams of motherhood and family were over.How could anyone love someone who is chronically ill?I decided that I was comfortable enough with him to just open up and talk about my MS since we had become so close, and it felt safe since I didn’t really ‘know’ him. It is NOT what our relationship is all about; in fact we only discuss it when it rears up to make itself known.
I dated some here and there but it was never the right guy, and either way, I was always so nervous to bring up my diagnosis.No, I thought, seeking out a man with MS in particular for romance might be an option, but it isn’t a solution.My friend’s question also got me thinking about my own preferences, my own prejudices. For example, I’m a diminutive 5’2” and I’ve always avoided dating very tall men. I went out with a man several months ago who is 6’4” partly to test my prejudice and see if I was being ridiculous about it.I’ll call him Jake, though that is not his real name. He was genuine, appreciative, discreet, upbeat, smart and funny.And he was fearless, unlike the fit, able gents I’d been wrangling with on other sites that were uncomfortable with the notion of even talking to me on the phone. We met for lunch at my favorite Lebanese restaurant.